Single Status Update
I don't know why it's so hard for people to understand I would rather die than face heartbreak or disappointment from anyone ever again. I don't know why it's impossible for anyone to understand that I would rather spend the rest of my days alone than to have to worry about someone else's feelings or opinions of me and my choices. I certainly don't understand why it's so hard for everyone to understand I DO NOT WANT TO BE LOVED!!!! Love is just the butt of a joke. It's not real and it does nothing more than give people an excuse to be vulnerable while giving others the opportunity to hurt them with endless measure. Love has NEVER brought me anything but pain, misery and disappointment, from my mother, from my ex husbands and from those I trusted the most in this world. Love breeds pain, regret and destruction. It's a disease. What little ability I had left in me to love is gone and I will be damned if I will fall for it again. I'm not going to love someone just because everyone thinks I should. I DO NOT want a relationship with anyone. I am not relationship material anymore. Love is far more damaging than any bullet. EVERY SINGLE MAN I HAVE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS DESTROYED MY TRUST, BROKE MY HEART OR HURT ME BEYOND MEASURE!!! No one I have ever allowed into my heart has ever been capable of unconditional love or even true love. The only love that is safe is the love I have for my daughter and my Baby Bella. People only care as long as you have something to offer them that they want and people only care as long as it is convenient for them. People only care when they have nothing else taking up their time. I have been used, walked on and thrown away like yesterday's trash since the moment I was born and took my first breath. I do NOT want to be loved. I do NOT want gifts. I do NOT want a man with money. I do NOT want to be indebted to anyone because they showed me kindness. I do NOT want to share my life with anyone!!! I will not allow the pain and drama and bullshit of love to take over my life. And don't get me started on trust. There's no act of God that will ever convince me to trust anyone ever again. PERIOD! People will love you, until they don't. You can trust people, until you can't. I have faith that everything will fall into place just as God intended but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God did not intend for me to be loved. My God is not that cruel.